Beautiful music and readings straight from Luke. More music. Young children lighting each other’s candles (fully and safely electronic, pretend you don’t see them pushing their on buttons.) A light lunch afterwards with time to visit.

A chance to thank Monica and her family in person for those homemade cookies.

Sharing a new-today picture of our son’s kids with those who’d been part of his own village when he was growing up. The oldest is clearly doing what his daddy did at that age: growing half an inch a month, so much so that we’d done a double take, having seen him just three months ago and, wow. You look at the feet of the next oldest where the camera catches him in the act of standing halfway to tiptoe, trying to keep up. Kids. They’re just like all the kids who ever came before them. Forever adorable, as I’m sure we at our best are even now to G_d.

The young parents I gave finger puppets to. Getting to meet the parents of one of them, visiting from far away.

Love and instant community whether we know each other or not.

Every day should aspire to be like today.

The doorbell rang this afternoon.

Scott and his two daughters told me their mom had baked these cookies for us. Merry Christmas!

There were so many and so different. Each was a work of art. If his wife isn’t a professional baker, she certainly could be. Richard and I later cut a few in half so we both could explore among the variations.

My astonishment and stunned delight made their day while they were totally making mine. I had been sick and they had decided to do something about it to help me feel better.

Hours later, I suddenly wondered if their old KitchenAid still worked?

Not that the one has anything to do with the other, but–I’d long forgotten that about twenty years ago, I bought a new beater for my mixer at an outlet store, only to find it didn’t fit my machine. A rookie mistake, but not worth the two-hour round trip to return it. Maybe the next time I go to Gilroy?

I never did. It sat in its little white box in my house taking up space till not long after they moved in half a dozen years later.

Monica, barely knowing anyone yet, offered a baking demo at church. She was good!

And my beater that fit her Kitchenaid perfectly found where it had been waiting to go. A good baker could always use extras for making multiple batches in a row.

1.82″ of rain, way more than expected, while a tornado flipped cars up in the mountains. San Francisco had its first-ever tornado warning but Scotts Valley took the hit. (No one was killed.)

It left me musing over the words of a friend some years ago who’d grown up here and had moved over by the coast. He’d never understood why people from the East Coast said they missed ‘real weather.’ What’s so great about shoveling snow in the cold or hurricanes or storms that take out the power or all of that.

But he told me he got it now: it meant being closer to nature. We all have an innate need to connect to the natural world and weather brings it right up close and personal and humbles us.

I think (and I’m sure the guy would agree) that we can do just fine without the sky throwing a temper tantrum with heavy vehicles, but I quibble.

Meanwhile, down here, most of the rain happened at night and my hero made a grocery run this evening with nothing barring his way nor slowing him down, just a normal, calm, boring northern Californian day.

With the first sprouts of winter’s new green everywhere.

What I need, I thought but did not say, is some classic get-better chicken noodle soup.

The doorbell rang before dark and there on our doorstep was our friend Phyl. I stood nowhere near but managed to at least wave hello and say thank you from the family room as she handed salad, bread, a dessert–and a great big thing of fresh-veggie chicken noodle soup to Richard.

Hold on, one more thing, and she ran back to her car.

A birthday present for me to wait to open.

The talk was amazing. Being able to hear it and read the captions when I knew they normally don’t have that set up there was a vivid example of exactly the things he was saying.

That the things that matter in this life are our relationships. The choices we make. And how we treat others.

And he talked about plants. How watering them allows the roots to access the minerals in the soil and support all that shows above ground; the water offers more than just water, it makes everything the plant needs down there accessible.

While I remembered neurologist Dr. Oliver Sacks’ observation that if you kneel in the dirt with a dementia patient, no matter how far gone their brain is, and hand them a little seedling, they will always, always plant it roots-side down. Never roots up leaves down. It is built into our very beings to know how plants grow.

It is built into our very souls to want to love and be loved.

Our church building is in the middle of its annual five-day creche exhibit, with the whole place turned into a temporary museum, every piece on loan. The people who run it are gifted designers and creatives and the place is always gorgeous. There are concerts every night, a hands-on children’s area, and everything is a gift to the community. They wouldn’t accept payment if you tried. If you’re at all local, I highly recommend a visit.

Which means that for actual church services we double up with another ward in another building.

A friend offered to carpool. I said I’d love to but we’re sick. She said just so you know there’s no Zoom option there.

And then there was a ward email from another friend, proud of his identical twin who was going to be a speaker Sunday, not to miss it!

Oh, I wouldn’t for anything… But there’s no way I’m knowingly exposing anybody else to this.

I told him my dilemma yesterday. He got back to me today. Someone in the background, he didn’t say how much of it was him or his brother or who, managed to work things out so that yes, he then announced to the whole ward, there will indeed be Zoom available for those who are ill or otherwise in need of it.

I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful a Christmas gift it felt to be looked out for and included. Someone chose to go out of their way to do the inconvenient thing and set things up differently for that day so that we wouldn’t have to miss it.

6.7, came the alerts on my phone, with a warning to get away from the coast. Tsunami alert! The quake was later upgraded to a 7, the tsunami alert canceled an hour later, and we are not on the coast and I’ve been told the Bay is not likely to do tsunamis. Hopefully.

My friend Kevin of the late Purlescence grew up in Humboldt County and once told me of eating in a diner there as a young man (I’m thinking around 1990) and some old-timers striking up a conversation with him.

I’m guessing they’d heard on that day in 1964 that there had been not only an earthquake in Alaska but the second largest ever recorded. My son-in-law, who grew up in Anchorage, described someone walking into a bank that held the guy’s mortgage, flipping them his house keys and saying, You own it now. Try to find it.

Now there was an underwater mortgage.

Back at the diner on the bluff, they were scanning the horizon and looking at the people on the beach down below. Suddenly they bolted and drove down there, and I’m picturing it as steep, windy, and narrow.

Tsunami coming! Get in, get in, get out of here! NOW!

The water was coming in as they drove back up that hill. They’d saved so many lives. And now, all those years later, they still scanned that horizon from their favorite diner on that bluff; you never know.

Wishing everybody a very Happy Thanksgiving.

We saw the truck a few days ago: not the classic moving van, but bigger than, say, an Amazon truck, so who knows if it was a washing machine or a household.

Their cars arrived and the lights came on. Hey.

You don’t get in someone’s way on moving day. Or the day after, or after, but, but… A few minutes the Saturday after that might do?

The husband opened the door. I was certainly not expecting blond, and I don’t know what he was expecting but it clearly wasn’t a white-haired woman holding out a bag, but we got past that quickly.

I’d misheard in that brief moment meeting his wife in the dark on the sidewalk last month: the baby is actually two now, and he is adorable. There is no smile that melts a person like a toddler’s who is running towards you.

I told the little guy’s mom that if she’d prefer a shawl I had two more skeins and the dye lot was almostalmostalmost a total match to the baby blanket.

The husband grew up about 150 miles from where we did.

And she’s a knitter! Oh my heart. We DID get the most perfect neighbors!

She was tired. She is maybe three by now. She was on the floor, arms wide, making herself as big as she could. The dinner part of the potluck last night was over and her daddy had her baby brother in his stroller quiet and content, while he sat at a little round table with a small group away from most of the crowd getting some adult in-person time.

Since she was lying there quietly and in view he wasn’t paying the least attention to her, or as far as she was concerned, and I could see her watching him with his face turned half away and her wheels turning and the meltdown that was just about to start. If she was going to be tired enough to lie down it was going to be in her own bed with her own nighttime rituals and this would not do!

I had a new baby and a two year old three times in a row. I remember.

I apologized to her mom this afternoon, saying, I broke my own rule. I always give to the parents, not the child, but I handed that tiger directly to her.

She laughed and said it was great and thank you and that they had several of those finger puppets by now.

Their little girl had LEAPED up in excitement holding it high, running to show it to her daddy.

I love how easily and instantly little kids can cheer up. She helped me be a bit of a one too last night.

I wonder how her life turned out. She would have been able to reach people nobody else could have.

When I was at the end of my first semester of college in 1977 at BYU, facing my first finals, my dad surprised me with an amaryllis bulb kit in the mail for my birthday.

He had given one to my mom every year for hers. To be included in that celebration felt like my dad telling me quietly that I was an adult now in his eyes. And that because of his faith in me, I was. Finals? I could do this!

One of the girls on my floor in the dorm asked me about that box with the pretty flower picture on it and was so taken with the idea that my dad would do that that we got to talking.

And talking.

We found ourselves walking the campus. Around town. Walking, walking, till hours past our bodies ached to be sound asleep. There was no way to stop.

I was her first witness. She had to tell someone.

When she was younger, her parents had lost a child in a house fire.

Her father, well regarded in their community which had rallied around the family, at home was someone who beat her mother. Often.

The day came when Becca stood between them to make him stop. He knocked her out.

And again.

At one point, and I don’t know how she met him, some older man told her he loved her and would protect her and brought her home to his place, where she was his plaything for a week. I think she was 17.

At the end of that week, though, she considered all the Sunday School lessons about waiting for marriage and knew she hadn’t done that and the ones about loving your family and she knew her father hadn’t lived up to that–but that this wasn’t how she wanted to live, either. She went home. College was coming soon anyway.

My father had sent me a flower bulb, simply to surprise me and make my day, and because he believed in me. There were actually people out there who loved their kids and lived that way. That, that was what she wanted ahead of her in her life. Love. Kindness.

She confessed to me then that a few nights earlier it had all become too much and she had sat in a tub with a knife in her hand, looking at her wrists, prepared to do the deed.

But something had made her hesitate. She felt an intense empathy reaching out for her personally, with a question, and I will never forget her saying these words describing how it felt: Yes. This life *will* be hard. Do you want to continue it?

She felt a promise holding her in its loving arms that she was not alone, that it would be so hard, but worth it, worth it, worth it, if she did. And so she lived.

Then she saw my amaryllis box.

And knew that good, loving people were out there, that they were more than just a Sunday School wish, that they were trying to live up to what they profess about following the teachings of Jesus to love one another. They were real. That could be her. She could want others to feel that same sense of being offered rescue that she had.

Yesterday morning, surely from the stress of what last week’s election means for the whole world and worried sick over my friends in Ukraine, I woke up from a nightmare. In it I had relived the pain of her telling me what had been done to her.

Becca–her parents had called her Rebecca when they were mad at her, which had never made sense to her because they had in fact actually named her simply Becca–had, shortly after our long nighttime walk, gone home at Christmas break to her folks in the South and she never came back. She told me just before she left that she had decided to go home, trying to reassure me that it was okay to now.

I never heard from her again.

I have never known if she was okay, and all my adult life I have wanted her to be, wherever she is out there.

She could be there for others going through what she had had to in a way I could never know how to. We opened up each other’s worlds. If we saw each other now we would be throwing our arms around each other and telling how this whole life thing had all turned out for us.

I told Richard the gist of that long walk.

It was a hard story for him to hear on top of the overwhelming grieving going on re the election outcome, wherein half the nation had returned to its abuser.

I had a thought–and went and pulled out the Nautilus puzzle of a sunrise at the Grand Canyon.

Pouring out the pieces. Getting out the cookie sheets to sort them into. Heads bowed together, turning each one over to see its true colors, searching for the edges, finding where it turns its corners, slowly, slowly over two evenings going from setting up the boundaries to filling in the center, the rocks and the sky and the river coming to be, slowly and painstakingly at first and then faster and faster towards the end till the picture was complete.

The laser-broken pieces now a glory of a view.

That was the question I wanted to ask.

So.

That third of a ball: in the sunlight, it just wasn’t enough of a match.

(Tap tap tap.) Yarn store number one in that color: zero inventory.

Yarn store number two: three skeins. It was a long way to go to check dye lots for that little of a chance.

Yarn store number three, and the one I’d most want to go to anyway even though it’s a trek. I knew I would have to call to find out, but Kathryn has a lovely deep voice that is easier to hear than most on the phone.

Rios in Ravelry Red? Wait just a minute while I go check. …Lots!

So I gathered up my project, my last skein attached, and headed to Cottage Yarns. Where they don’t have space for classes or gatherings because there’s just too much yarn to squeeze them in. Wasn’t it Mae West who said, “Too much of a good thing is wonderful”?

They had a full bag all ready for me when I got there. I explained that mine was a couple years old and I knew Malabrigo tends to shift the shades slightly from year to year so it was a bit of a long shot.

They were a bit too pink. Mine was more on the orange side.

How about this bag?

Oh, much closer, and I almost bought two of those but then Kathryn’s husband found three skeins that had found their way into a bag with another color altogether (so that they would stand out and could be found while staying mothproofed) and once again stepping out into the sunlight and back under the store lights for comparison, that was what I wanted.

Meantime, while I was focusing on that, the shop’s phone rang.

He went off to wind the two balls for me while she was answering the call, which didn’t take long.

They wanted to know, she told me, trying really hard not to laugh because everybody’s a beginner at the beginning and sometimes non-knitters buy presents. Did we have any red yarn?

Just, red yarn.

(Photo from two years ago. I had no idea this one was going to be so huge when I ordered my first gerdan, I had no frame of reference yet.)

I wore all-black to church today. I’d asked after one of my friends in Ukraine and had gotten an anguished message back wondering where would they go, whether they would even live, how would they get through this.

I knew in my bones that only the color of mourning would do. And my very large, bright yellow sunflower gerdan: there have been Ukrainian refugees living next door to that church and I wanted them to feel seen. I wanted to bear witness to the importance of supporting the innocents whom American voters just sold down the river. It was my I Protest outfit. But anyway.

There are two people in that congregation who–well, one once showed me her official socks with that name on them.

The monthly senior potluck was this evening and I looked around and thought, hey, look–we’re not the youngest ones anymore!

People were chatting, the hostess was trying to get people to get started; Richard motioned me over to where he had a seat at a table ready for me.

Ms. Socks was to the other side.

Note that she and I do not discuss politics because it would do no good–but I have noted that as her guy’s behavior got worse and worse over these past few years she avoided me more and more, which is a shame, because other than that one (very big) thing I consider us old friends. More and more though with a sense of wistfulness and loss.

Why should I let him of all people call the shots in our personal lives. So I turned to her and asked her about her house and how the remodeling was going.

She seemed surprised that I would want to talk to her, which struck me as terribly sad, but answered my question and we went on to have a normal conversation like it should always be and she enjoyed a bit of my blueberry cobbler, too.

I think Bill of Penzey’s Spices has a point: Cook. Feed people. Love them.

It helped.

I picked up my friend Karen and we headed down the freeway towards Andy’s Orchard. As we were talking, I said, well, my potassium’s always low–to the point they actually treated it for awhile, awhile ago–and one of the best sources of potassium in food is dried apricots. By far, compared to, say, bananas. (Side chatter about stocking up for the winter on this trip.) So it’s not just food, it’s medicine, right? Hey, when life gives you an excuse to do what you want to do anyway…

She laughed.

I was hoping for Comice pears, too, but they were out today.

So, she asked me, standing in front of the recently-dried varieties: regular, premium, slab. How do you know what’s what?

The slabs are the ones that were so perfectly ripe they went smush when they cut them open. Those regulars? Nice and round and pretty. The slabs? Sweet and melting in texture with no added sugar but the shape is ‘gone splat.’ They are perfect.

Turns out it was her son Andy’s birthday. I was his Sunday School teacher back when he was ten, and now he’s ‘the answer to life, the universe, and everything‘ (MIT link with happy mathematicians) per Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. (It appears the answer really IS 42!)

Got her back home. I opened my car door, went around to the back and of course I pulled out a pound from me. Go celebrate with Andy for me, willya? Tell him I said happy birthday. He was always one of my favorites.

A comment at church yesterday by an avid reader that will stay with me, quoting a friend who loved books as much as she did. The friend was, at the time, a young Mormon missionary, and was trying hard to stay close to the Spirit. To go where she could do good. To do what someone out there needed.

The friend’s favorite conversation opener was to ask, What’s your favorite book?

One time, having been taught all her life that G_d knows and cares about us personally, while trying to focus her thoughts in prayer she found herself impulsively asking G_d Himself, What’s Your favorite book?

She felt immediately silly–but also, to her astonishment, an answer.

“Anne of Green Gables.”

Wait. What? Her favorite from her childhood, but. Why would G_d care about that of all things? What? So that was the second question; she really wanted to know.

And the answer and the experience, passed on to her friend Sarah and now to the rest of us, came just as quickly and just as close to her heart:

“Because that is the first book you read that made you want to be a better person.”