Wednesday September 19th 2012, 10:31 pm
Filed under: Friends,Life

Went with a friend to see a friend this evening to say hi.

To a new widow.

To an old friend. Twenty-five years ago, we were newly moved in and were struggling with the changes that had come with a California mortgage (I don’t even want to think what that would be like now). Where did we have any room to cut back?

We had three kids under five. She and her husband had raised their kids here with one still in school. She showed up completely unexpected one day, knocking on my door from halfway across town to share some fruit from her tree, a few veggies from her garden. She’d been thinking of me; would I like these? She was almost apologetic for the intrusion.

She had no idea that far beyond the fruit itself, the gesture, the thoughtfulness, the love for someone she didn’t even know well yet at the moment I felt so overwhelmed but had told nobody–I’ll remember it forever with great gratitude. It would all be okay now–the fear in the way and the tension it had caused was gone.

It’s been about a year since he passed; long enough that I’d been wondering if maybe she was feeling like everybody else had gone back to normal, everybody but her. When Catherine emailed and said, let’s go stop by, I was honored that she thought to take me too and glad of the excuse. Why did I need an excuse? Just go!

And so we did.

When our friend welcomed us in, I admired an old photo of her husband by the front door and marveled that their son (in his Facebook photos from across the country) looks now so much like his dad did back then. He was so young then. So was she.

We got to listen. We shared old stories together, some that were new to Catherine. We made our friendships all brand new all over again.

What had I been waiting for?! But maybe it was just the right time after all.

There will be more.

4 Comments so far
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You NEVER need an excuse for that kind of visit! Sounds like everybody came out ahead that day.

Comment by Don Meyer 09.20.12 @ 8:51 am

I think the gift of time (time given, and time passed until the right moment is reached) is often undervalued. My sis-in-love (LynnH of Colorjoy :-} ) has that down pat. She gives her time every week to those she loves, strengthening connections. I love that you made us matching shawls :-}

Comment by Diana Troldahl 09.20.12 @ 10:38 am

Sounds like it was the perfect time. And now they’ll be more! Friends indeed.

Comment by DebbieR 09.20.12 @ 3:29 pm

You have made me stop to think, who do I know who could use that little bit of support right now? This was lovely to read.

Comment by twinsetellen 09.21.12 @ 5:47 am

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