Monday July 12th 2010, 11:06 pm
Filed under: Friends,Life

I keep sitting here staring at the screen, wondering, but what on earth do I say?

My childhood and lifelong friend Karen, proud owner of the original Water Turtles shawl that I knitted for the turtle that swam alongside us at the C&O Canal as we walked the towpath there like old times: her brother Dale was ten years older than her and a thoroughly-confirmed bachelor.

Who stunned the heck out of everyone by announcing about a month ago that he was getting married and then, three weeks ago, going right ahead and doing just that.

*Dale*? Is getting *MARRIED*?

Their wedding pictures looked so happy, and I wondered whether Karen did the classic sibling thing of are we talking about MY brother? when her new sister-in-law said that Dale was so sweet. I mean, teasing is what siblings are for, right?

I wondered how the newlyweds were doing when I got a message from Karen Saturday night: Dale had pneumonia. ICU. Didn’t look good.

Butbutbut he was just fine just last wait I don’t get it!

She was visiting her daughter a thousand miles away but threw herself in her car first thing in the morning for the long, long drive, picking up her oldest brother along the way and stopping at her home for the night before continuing on for the rest of the drive south to see Dale.

Or not.

Her phone rang at 1:35 this morning.

I am unfathomably grateful to a woman who took a chance on a long-distance relationship and showed Dale, for the first time in his life, that not only was he so lovable that someone would actually take a chance and marry him in order to spend the rest of their days together, she DID.  It was such a great gift she gave him.

Karen, Sally, Paul, Amy, Helen–I am so sorry for your loss.

19 Comments so far
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This brought tears to my eyes. How sad, and yet wonderful that he found love after waiting for so long to marry the right woman… My tears are for that family, and also for my gratitude – my husband almost died of pneumonia when we’d been married for 2 1/2 years. He survived after a long hard battle.

My thoughts and prayers are with that family.

Comment by Mary 07.12.10 @ 11:28 pm

I’m sorry Alison, I’m thinking of you too, and your loss. I forgot to mention that. I feel so bad about not mentioning you and the pain that you feel too.

Comment by Mary 07.12.10 @ 11:30 pm

Oh Alison, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of such a good man! My heart breaks for his new bride and all his family and friends; please let them know that many people are praying for them.

Comment by Kathy in San Jose 07.12.10 @ 11:40 pm

There’s a pricing game on the Price is Right where the contestant is supposed to wait until the price displayed is higher than the actual price of the car. Then the contestant is supposed to yell “That’s too much!”

Well, “That’s too much!” … too much to cope with, too much for a bride to even imagine.

Our prayers have already flown heavenward for all who loved Dale.

Comment by Barbara-Kay 07.13.10 @ 5:54 am

Big, deep breath. I’m so sorry for the loss, to all – you included. Life is so full of surprises, and they’re not always pleasant.

Comment by Channon 07.13.10 @ 5:58 am

Oh, no. Just… no. This is just too sad. Sending wishes for a bit of peace amid the sadness to Dale’s family and his new wife. And to you.

Comment by Lene 07.13.10 @ 8:02 am

So sorry to hear of your loss. I can empathize as I have just been told that the prostate cancer that I have has progressed, and now I need to have surgery on the 19th of August. All should go well, but one never truly knows what will happen. Life gives you what it will, we cope as best we can.

Comment by William 07.13.10 @ 8:18 am

My prayers for all those hurt by this loss. I think William has it right – we do cope as best we can.

Comment by Don Meyer 07.13.10 @ 9:15 am

My heart goes out to them

Comment by Diana Troldahl 07.13.10 @ 9:34 am

“Too much” is right. No words to make it understandable. Just know we care and send prayers and good thoughts to all of you. How very sad.

Comment by DebbieR 07.13.10 @ 10:48 am

Keeping Dale and all of his loved ones in my thoughts- the story wasn’t supposed to go like that, now was it? :’-(

Comment by tinebeest 07.13.10 @ 11:03 am

Oh this post gave me chills. I’m so very sorry for your friend Karen and Dale’s new wife. There really are no words. g

Comment by gMarie 07.13.10 @ 1:34 pm

How very sad. and yet, how wonderful that his last days were filled with love.

Comment by Helen 07.13.10 @ 3:33 pm

Words are always inadequate somehow. I’m glad they had a few weeks of happiness together; I’m really sad for them and all of their family, and you, that this has happened. You can never tell what will happen, can you? Life is a precious thing.

Comment by Beckett 07.13.10 @ 4:06 pm

The loss is very sad. However, to have enjoyed true love, and to acknowledge it through a brief marriage, is heartwarming. Peace to all the family.

Comment by Joansie 07.13.10 @ 4:23 pm

I add my prayers to others. I am keyboardless on this one…

Comment by Suzanne in Montreal 07.14.10 @ 5:58 am

I’m late to this, but not too late I hope. I want to add my condolences for the family.
And I’m thinking, at least they had three weeks. A few years ago in my hometown, a young woman that my sister and I grew up with, died of a brain aneurysm on her wedding day.

Comment by karin maag-tanchak 07.14.10 @ 8:13 pm

I just read your blog. I’m so sorry for all of you whose life he touched.

Comment by Janice 07.16.10 @ 3:42 pm

I want to let everyone know that the prayers and wishes have helped bouy us all along. We all are in His care and unfathomable (to us) things happen in His time.
Dale is in a far better place than this world now. Liberty University has agreed to grant his degree posthumously. (That’s one way to get your degree–he was just dying to get his.) He was working on his last class. Bad puns, jokes and humor have also helped us work through the grief of losing him at 58.
Marrying Sally made him *so* happy. To love and be loved! Who can say that they never even disagreed with their spouse? Sally and Dale. She really was the love of his life! 3 weeks is far too short to fathom. He’s been gone now for 2 1/2 weeks and it feels both like a lifetime and only a minute.
Again, thanks for all the prayers and condolences.

Comment by Karen L 07.30.10 @ 11:47 pm

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