Saturday January 23rd 2010, 11:40 pm
Filed under: Friends

I’ve known him since he was a preschooler. He was a good kid.  He was a kind person.  I got to see his delight, in one memorable incident a year and a half ago, at his succeeding in totally making my day.

My two younger children heard the sirens last night.  It is so hard.

God understands.

(Ed. to add: Please do not say anything in the comments that might add to his mother’s pain. She is my friend.)

41 Comments so far
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Oh no.

Suicide is so difficult. Taylor won’t have any more pain, but he leaves many who loved him dearly.

Comment by StellaMM 01.24.10 @ 1:13 am

Hugs and prayers to his family and yours at this terrible time.

Comment by Kathy in San Jose 01.24.10 @ 1:14 am

The family needs all the love and compassion people can provide. My mother says that having a child die before you do is the hardest thing a parent can survive.

Comment by Margo Lynn 01.24.10 @ 5:55 am

Oh, dear, dear. There are no words. What a terrible loss. I am so sorry.

Comment by Pei 01.24.10 @ 6:38 am

Prayers for the engineer, too, that he can find peace.

Comment by Barbara-Kay 01.24.10 @ 6:41 am

Praying for peace and comfort for all those who need it.

Comment by Jody M 01.24.10 @ 7:04 am

That is heartbreaking. My sincerest condolences go out to that young man’s family and friends.

Comment by LynnM 01.24.10 @ 7:24 am

I am so, so sorry for this loss.

Comment by ccr in MA 01.24.10 @ 8:16 am

I’m so sorry; for both your friend’s loss and yours. Love to you both.

Comment by (formerly) no-blog-rachel 01.24.10 @ 8:36 am

I am so sorry for you, his family, friends and all those that loved and cared about him. It’s a very difficult situation.

Comment by Joansie 01.24.10 @ 8:38 am

I am truly sorry.

Comment by Sherry in Idaho 01.24.10 @ 8:39 am

May all the happy memories help ease this painful loss.

Comment by Sue H 01.24.10 @ 8:55 am

I am so profoundly sorry.

Comment by Michelle 01.24.10 @ 9:09 am

I’ll keep them in my prayers

Comment by Bev 01.24.10 @ 9:45 am

Aack – the link is not working – what is everyone talking about?

Comment by suburbancorrespondent 01.24.10 @ 10:09 am

All my love.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Alison and family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Comment by Diana Troldahl 01.24.10 @ 11:00 am

I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your friend.

Comment by Ruby 01.24.10 @ 11:29 am

Suburban, my friend’s son Brian was 19 and had spent the last year with growing bipolar and schizophrenia mental illness; that’s about the age when it usually starts. His family tried hard to get him help. There has been a terrible rash of train suicides at a crossing not far from the high school, and he, completely out of it, became one more Friday night.

Comment by AlisonH 01.24.10 @ 11:35 am

My thoughts and prayers to all who knew and loved Brian.

Comment by Serena 01.24.10 @ 11:45 am

I shudder every time I read about one of those train crossing suicides. My prayers to all those who who knew the youngster.

I’m not sure humor is appropriate in this circumstance, but …

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

Comment by Don Meyer 01.24.10 @ 12:00 pm

Having watched people live and die with this illness, I can begin to imagine what Brian’s family has experienced. I trust they have many friends, both personal and professional, to help them in the months and years ahead. I am so sad for them.

Comment by Luise 01.24.10 @ 12:19 pm

Hugs and prayers for this dear family, and for you that you be able to offer comfort and support for them.

Comment by kmom 01.24.10 @ 5:21 pm

Heartbreaking. Comfort may not be possible for the family. I pray for strength for them and support from those around them.

Comment by Julia 01.24.10 @ 5:51 pm

Profoundly heartbreaking. Blessings to Brian and all the loved ones he left behind.

Comment by Madeline 01.24.10 @ 6:36 pm

I am so very sorry. This is a loss no parent should bear.

Comment by Leslie 01.24.10 @ 6:53 pm

It is inaccurate to describe him as a “former eagle scout.” The BSA says, “Once an eagle, always an eagle.” His illness and all that it caused don’t diminish what he was able to accomplish while he was healthy and himself. I guess his accomplishments now help shape the hole he leaves in everyone’s heart.

Comment by LauraN 01.24.10 @ 9:00 pm

My heart goes out to the family and to you. Such a tragic loss.

Comment by Lene 01.24.10 @ 9:35 pm

Oh no! My prayers to all who knew and loved Brian. May the happy memories strengthen all of you.

Comment by DebbieR 01.24.10 @ 10:21 pm

Prayers, peace and pleasant memories.

Comment by Channon 01.25.10 @ 7:32 am

Adding my prayers to the ones already mentionned and as Debbie said, may the happy times strengthen all of you.

Comment by Suzanne in Mtl 01.25.10 @ 7:44 am

How terrible- deepest sympathy to his friends and family. And also to the train crew, who must have been horrified.

Comment by RobinH 01.25.10 @ 9:05 am

Oh, M and G! My heart is crying, but I know that Brian is in no more pain, and I think that the same knowledge is what will help his family through this. Please give his parents an extra hug from us.

Comment by Monica 01.25.10 @ 11:33 am

As my friend told me after the death of our daughter,”The loss of a child is the hardest loss to deal with. But this I have learned through the loss of my own son: As long as you and others remember your child with love and do good in her memory, she will continue to do good for the world.”

My thoughts and prayers are with Brian’s family as they deal with their loss.

Comment by Shirley 01.25.10 @ 2:30 pm

The family will be in my thoughts during their difficult time.

Comment by Alicia 01.25.10 @ 2:56 pm

My heart goes out to your friend and her family. I also wanted to say that it was very courageous of her to tell her son’s story in a public forum. Unfortunately, even though we have been much better informed about mental illness and its devastating effect on both the sufferer and his family, we as a society are still not as understanding when it comes to suicide. Your statement about the fact that he was not able to cope with his illness because the one thing that we use for coping, his mind, was not only no longer able to help him, but was now the source of his torment. It is very difficult, I have discovered, for people who have never experienced such affliction in their minds, to understand why a person who seemingly had such a wonderful future ahead of him, would “choose” to take his life. As such, many people still “blame” both the victim and their family for this loss of life.
I have experienced this first hand because I am also bipolar and but for the grace of God I have been granted peace now for the past 10 years after 20 years of hospitalizations and mental torture which was beyond description. However, my beautiful daughter, who was also an amazing professional blues musician and athlete finally succumbed to the effects of the bipolar that she was first diagnosed with around the age of 20. She struggled for at least 10 years but could no longer cope with the constant cycles of extreme agitation and depression that rendered her unable to maintain her career and left her a complete recluse for the last few years of her life. I can only encourage your friend by saying that in time the grief and pain lessen and our memories of them no longer bring us so much a feeling of loss but rather a sense of gratitude that we were able to have them in our lives, if only for a short time. Knowing that we will be united again in heaven is also a great comfort to both my husband and myself. Also, knowing that she is no longer suffering is a great comfort and I am fairly certain that she is “jamming” with other musicians who have gone before her:)

Comment by Irene 01.25.10 @ 4:15 pm

In the depths of grieving a suicide in my own family I offer a prayer for peace and healing in the knowledge that he is with his God who offers loving arms and the cessation of all the pain and grief of this life, peace everlasting. You are so wise to suggest writings – what a treasure that will be for his family.

Comment by Beth R. 01.25.10 @ 8:40 pm

Alison I’m so sorry for the loss of this fine young man. May his memory be for a blessing.

Comment by Diann 01.25.10 @ 9:58 pm

Lots of prayers out to all of you.

Comment by Amanda 01.26.10 @ 4:24 am

I’m so sorry for their loss! You are all in my prayers!

Comment by TripletMom 01.26.10 @ 3:07 pm

I am so sorry for everyone’s loss. I lost my brother in the fall of 2004 as a result of his inability to deal with a similar situation after struggling for years to come to terms with it. It is heart wrenching for all involved. I am now older than he was when he died, which is somehow still difficult to grasp. Hold on to the many wonderful memories I’m sure you all have of him. Find comfort in them. Let them enfold rather than engulf you. My heart is with you.

Comment by Kayten 01.27.10 @ 8:39 am

Blessed be.

Comment by twinsetellen 01.29.10 @ 3:02 pm

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