What to do
Thursday August 21st 2008, 11:28 pm
Filed under: Life

Came across this and found it important enough to pass along to those who want to know how to help when someone has a very ill family member.

6 Comments so far
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That is a wonderful post. I would simply add: Don’t forget it affects the entire family. I’m sure my dad got lots of support, but very little (if any) practical support trickled down to me. My husband covered everything here.

Comment by amy 08.22.08 @ 4:53 am

Great post, but I do agree with the first comment; the impact can be far-reaching, and often, the TLC isn’t.

Comment by Channon 08.22.08 @ 7:04 am

What a great post! It’s absolutely dead-on in it’s accuracy and scope. I especially appreciate the item about “stealth cleaning” after the family goes home. I have a hard time looking at the garden beds as I walk into the house now, after being at the hospital all summer. A wonderful neighbor powerwashed the deck and his 8 year old son clipped all the hosta stalks for us, which makes me feel better about being home.

Comment by Deb 08.22.08 @ 7:38 am

It is a real help when people can be specific about their needs. When a friend’s father died, she said, “what I would appreciate most is meals taken to my mother’s home at XXX Street.” So almost everyone from church dropped by at one time or another with a casserole in a foil tray. Sandy told us later that her mother was terribly worried about feeding all of the relatives and other visitors and was constantly asking someone to drive her to the store so she could buy something to cook. Then the doorbell would ring, someone would hand her a casserole, and she would calm back down. Or they would just take her to the dining room which was covered with casseroles and say, “Sandy’s church has it covered. Stop worrying.” Finally, after a couple of days, she was able to stop worrying about food and trust that it would just happen, which it did.

Comment by Laura 08.22.08 @ 10:49 am

I think you have to listen to what they don’t say too.

I was visiting a friend who had been in a bad motorcycle accident at the nursing home yesterday when he mentioned that his glasses had “disappeared.” I asked him if there was anything he needed to have read to him or forms he needed filled out. Ended up spending most of the afternoon filling out paperwork for him. He couldn’t thank me enough. I felt honored that he trusted me with all of his personal information. It did us both good.

Comment by wunx~ 08.22.08 @ 1:10 pm

Thank you so much for sending folks to my post on How to Help. I would love it if your commenters would comment on the original post too, so that all the post readers can benefit from their contributions.

Again, thank for helping spread it around.



Comment by :: Suzanne :: 08.24.08 @ 9:41 pm

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