Rip van Wrinkle
Sunday March 01st 2009, 7:32 pm
Filed under: Crohn's flare,Life

amaryllisesToday I made it through all three hours of church meetings for the first time in three months.  (And then went home and slept three hours solid.)  Two weeks ago I’d gotten through the first meeting, last week not at all.

Today I got to see: that babe in arms was now walking, in that staggering “look at me!” way they do, with arms at stiff right angles as she toddled in glee at being able to. I laughed.  I could relate.

Those two newborns were now three months old and surprisingly bigger.  That baby over there in his daddy’s arms was now old enough to be smiling back at me and laughing at my peek-a-booing.

The woman who’d told me in great excitement that she was expecting her first, and I’d quietly thought, You are?  Where?, was now clearly quite pregnant.  Life continues onward.

Quite a few people made a big deal over my being back.

And I thought, as I did during Stitches and all the joy and all the greetings there, how, throughout January and the first part of February, I kept trying to remind myself that the day would come when I would be so glad to be alive.  It was something to try to convince myself of; I sure didn’t feel that way yet. But there was this sense of obligation to my family and to all the people praying their hearts out for me to keep on slogging through it all whatever may come, and to keep a sense of cheerfulness as much as possible.

amaryllis in happy anticipationThe hardest thing I did physically and mentally during that time was to pull myself together enough to keep writing on my blog. To sound coherent. To type, at whatever angle I had to. To keep on being part of the great big world out there.  Grateful for each comment as I read them while utterly unable to muster the energy for giving back by responding.

It has been a weekend of much love and great joy.  I feel immersed in life again.  I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.  I owe much.  Thank you all for helping see me through.

Wind up the yarn into balls in celebration and forward knit!

36 Comments so far
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Well, of course you are getting better! We wouldn’t stand for anything less.

Today’s humor is a quiz. You are entitled to groan:
What is a Merkin?
Answer in following response.

Comment by Don Meyer 03.01.09 @ 7:39 pm

Merkin: A citizen of the United States, as in “Ma fellow Merkins…”

Comment by Don Meyer 03.01.09 @ 7:40 pm

And here I was, rhyming it with gherkin and being in a pickle trying to figure it out.

Comment by AlisonH 03.01.09 @ 7:42 pm

Ma fellow gherkins…

Comment by Don Meyer 03.01.09 @ 7:53 pm

When you feel like crap, the natural inclination is to ignore the world. But it is good to reach out too. After all, humans are, at bottom, social creatures. I am inspired to be part of your social network.

Comment by Carol 03.01.09 @ 8:00 pm

Oh, Alison, I am really so glad you’re finally feeling like you’re “back”. Your voice and insights were so greatly missed, although Richard did a yeoman’s job of keeping us all up to speed.

I know what it’s like to look up one day and realize that you’ve come through the storm. It’s such a relief to look back and see how far you’ve come, and such a joy to realize how the prayers of everyone around you helped to pull you through.

Prayers of thanksgiving!

Comment by Pegi 03.01.09 @ 9:03 pm

Spring is coming. Rebirth. Life is a series of big and little rebirths, isn’t it? Just waking up in the morning is one, but recovery, especially from the illness you have been through, is quite the rebirth.

Glad to see you taking those baby steps back into the wider world physically and emotionally, just like your small friends at church. I have been sending good thoughts your way and will continue to do so!

(And I cast on two new projects today! No, it’s not startitis, though I am not immune from that ailment. One is a simple project for my daughter, one is a more complicated sock. They’re both on size 0s, though; after an evening knitting and watching a movie, I’m thinking I may need a third project on bigger needles….)

Comment by Cathy-Cate 03.01.09 @ 9:22 pm

That feeling of getting your life back into some sense of order after a long illness, surgery, etc. is one the greatest feelings ever! My prayers are still with you, your family, & your doctors that a smooth & steady recovery continue. :0)

Comment by TripletMom 03.01.09 @ 9:37 pm

I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well again, well enough to go immerse yourself in this wonder that is life. Still, always wishing you the best it has to bring. <3 *hugs!*

Comment by Amy 03.01.09 @ 9:50 pm

Welcome back 🙂 We’re so glad to have you here!

Comment by Jocelyn 03.01.09 @ 9:58 pm

It’s nice when you respond to comments but not necessary. I was glad you could ‘give back’ by mustering the energy to read them when you were so sick!

Don, I can’t wait to share today’s riddle!

Comment by LynnM 03.02.09 @ 1:58 am

As I sit here in my uncharacteristically tidy living room, with two stalled projects and no idea what I want to cast on next to break the logjam, I am grinning hugely because I can hear your returning health in your “voice”. [Loved the picture of you and Tola, BTW.]

Comment by Lynn 03.02.09 @ 4:55 am

I’m so glad you had such a grand weekend, Alison! Especially after the Ear Incident. (I hope it’s not troubling you anymore.)

Don’s comment this morning made me laugh — they always do — but I have a slightly different merkin story for you.

I collect firkins when I find nice ones in antique stores that will fit in my budget. These are old, wooden buckets with a lid and a handle, which back in their heyday were used to store flour, sugar, and the like. They make great carriers for spinning paraphernalia, and with the lid on, they also make a great place to set your cup of tea or coffee when you’re attending a spin-in. I love them, and my dear friend Sue also thinks they are very cool.

My dear friend Sue also has trouble remembering the right word sometimes, and once in, I think, an online discussion she was involved in, someone mentioned merkins. Sue thought of my little wooden sugar buckets and replied with, “Oh, my friend Paula has one of those.”

Well, it does rhyme with firkin, so she was close, but…

I wonder what online group now thinks odd things about me. Tee-hee.

So now we joke about it every time I bring a wheel and stuff to her spin ins. “Here I am, and I brought my merkin…” 😉

But lately the spin-ins are so crowded, I just tend to bring a bag full of fiber and spindles, so I take up less space, but can still enjoy spinning. I suppose I could put my spindling stuff in a firkin, instead of a tote bag…

Comment by Paula 03.02.09 @ 5:43 am

I for one want to say you do not owe anything. I am sure we were and are very glad to give you anything from our hearts, whatever you need.

I am more grateful for knitting that I’ve ever been…and that’s saying something.

Comment by karin 03.02.09 @ 6:28 am

I am so honored to be your friend, and to be put in the same category as chocolate and wool (recovery incentives).

Comment by Barbara-Kay 03.02.09 @ 6:56 am

I love your spirit. And I hope, if I’m ever facing such dire health challenges, that I will have an equally strong spirit. I watched my mother just retreat, and it still makes me angry. Long before she had to–she began retreating with the MS. Did I mention–still makes me angry. I hope, if I’m ever in the same position, I take after you instead.

Comment by amy 03.02.09 @ 7:27 am

:0) We are so glad you are here, too! Stitches and babies and church fellowship all in one weekend? How grand is that! Prayers continuing…d

Comment by Debra 03.02.09 @ 7:57 am

Hey, you’ve come a long way, baby!

Comment by Bev 03.02.09 @ 8:01 am

Nothing like that moment when everything turns to Technicolor. So glad you made it.

Comment by Lene 03.02.09 @ 8:52 am

How wonderful for you!

Comment by Eileen 03.02.09 @ 9:26 am

And thank YOU for being so strong and brave, and for sharing your very difficult journey. Very inspiring. You have made me count my blessings for having good health.

Comment by Julie 03.02.09 @ 9:31 am

I am so proud of you that you know you did a lot in keeping up with your blog, and in keeping touch with the world. I am even more proud that you made it through Stitches West and church. Both are rejuvenating in their own ways!
PS I just ordered “Wrapped in Comfort” for my Mom to give me for my birthday! Am very excited.

Comment by Kathy Sue 03.02.09 @ 10:02 am

PPS: I meant to tell you how much I love the Amaryllises. My Aunt (who died many years ago, and is still missed) loved them, especially the red ones, and I think of her every time you post pictures. Thank you.

Comment by Kathy Sue 03.02.09 @ 10:09 am

I have been praying for you every day and keeping up with your progress. Glad to see you are doing so much better.


Comment by Angie A. 03.02.09 @ 10:57 am

Way to go!! Welcome back to lively livin’. 🙂

I love livin’ in Merka! 😉
(My mother was a school teacher..she’d a tanned my hide if she’d ever heard me say that.)

Comment by Toni Smoky-Mountains 03.02.09 @ 11:36 am

So wonderful to hear of you being out and about and enjoying life! A person as full of life and joy as you are, OUGHT to be able to be out enjoying.
Thanks for the smile today!

Comment by Helen 03.02.09 @ 12:07 pm

On the day you had your surgery, my husband – who had not been sick in any way – sat down on the side of our bed in the evening, suddenly fell over into my lap, and stopped breathing. It was not when he would have chosen to die, but it is emphatically how. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you are up and around and back in church. It helps me to see that the world is a good place without him. I have my children and my knitting and my grandchildren. The world remains a good place. My daughter has begun a shawl out of your book as a gift for her mother-in-law. It is her first shawl. All of my daughters began new knitting projects in the week after their father’s death. It is the most wonderful comfort.

Comment by Kit 03.02.09 @ 12:26 pm

What a great image! Hundreds of knitters, marching and wheeling along, pirouetting a random intervals, yarn and needles busy :-}

Comment by Diana Troldahl 03.02.09 @ 12:41 pm

Kit, I have no idea who you are, but I’m so sorry you had to go through such a shocking a difficult loss. I agree, that from your husband’s point of view, that’s a great way to go–right from your wife’s arms to God’s. But how sad for you. I’m glad to hear that you have so many loving people around you to give you comfort.

Comment by LauraN 03.02.09 @ 2:20 pm

Thank you, LauraN for that comment; I answered Kit privately but need to publicly as well. As she said, from your arms to God’s; such a perfect description. But oh honey, I’m so sorry for your loss. And glad for your creative, kind, and giving daughters.

Comment by AlisonH 03.02.09 @ 4:46 pm

Thank you all. I didn’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade, just to say that the needlework is so helpful even when it seems impossible. My son and daughters are wonderful. As I told Alison privately, I will be ok – just not soon. I also sent her a picture of the two granddaughters on the floor that first week over a math worksheet, each with a pencil in hand. The nine year old was being so gentle and careful with the eight month old and the eight month old was quite certain that this new game had to be a good one if her adored big cousin was doing it.

Comment by Kit 03.02.09 @ 5:05 pm

You’re not raining at all. Your situation is simply the way things are, and we have or will all individually face that same loss of someone dear to us; it’s an unavoidable part of loving others.

One of the things I try to do with my blog is not shy away from the hard things but get through them and then rejoice just as strongly in the good life has to offer.

Which your granddaughters playing together, clearly adoring each other, are a beautiful portrait of.

Comment by AlisonH 03.02.09 @ 5:12 pm

Some of us give thanks for your life every day. I’m glad you’re feeling much better.

Comment by Channon 03.02.09 @ 6:15 pm

There were many praying for this day, and I feel priviledged to be one of them. I didn’t make it to Stitches to see you, but you were on my mind as I wondered if you’d fell well enought to be there. I’m thrilled that you got to go and feel the warmth of love that friendship brings. The yarn on the other hand is an expected at these events. I don’t feel bad about not getting to add to my already unsuppressed yarn stash, but I felt sad that I wouldn’t get to see you if only long enough to see how well you’re doing and give you a quick hug. So I’ll do it here {{{{{Alison}}}}} Welcome back to the world of knitting and feeling well.

Comment by Shelly H 03.02.09 @ 7:49 pm

I suddenly got a rush of spam comments that I was deleting and I accidentally deleted one from Mady, so I went to my inbox to cut and paste it so I could put it back up, with my apologies to Mady. Here’s what she said:

What an affirming entry. We’re all so glad you made it through, the worst is over, and life is becoming joyful again. Blessings to you — and to Kit, too.

Comment by AlisonH 03.02.09 @ 9:14 pm

Kit, you weren’t raining on anyone’s parade. The correct water metaphore is that you were thirsty, so you went to a well. That’s what you’re supposed to do.
Laura N.

Comment by LauraN 03.03.09 @ 7:48 am

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