Squirrel on crack
Wednesday January 07th 2009, 4:37 pm
Filed under: Crohn's flare,Politics

Answering Karin: there’s a huge risk of infection in a hospital setting and I am not in good shape, so they’re trying to keep me out of there as long as humanly possible. Even though steroids haven’t worked for me in the past, they added them to my mix Monday night to try to help tide me over, just in case they might do some amount of good; the bleeding has indeed lessened somewhat. That’s a welcome first.

So yesterday I felt like a squirrel on crack.  Wired does not begin to describe what 40 mg of prednisone does.  I felt energetic and it was such a relief–but I couldn’t tell when I was overdoing it.

This is the first time today I’m finally able to sit up for more than a moment.  Mom brought me soup in bed and chatted and has kept me cheerful company, and I can’t tell you how wonderful she is.

I’m going to try to get through my emails by the end of the day, but if you don’t hear from me yet, please know that I read the comments at least for now, and am hugely appreciative for all the thoughts and prayers. They do make a difference. You do make a difference.  Thank you.

My tests cleared me today for Humira.  The (delete delete delete) insurance company, on the other hand, has not.  The mind boggles: my last hospitalization for Crohn’s cost $75,000.  How on earth could they… Do they think they can just wish me away? I know, they’ll cave. But why on earth do they think there’s any percentage in arguing first? Why do they even think it’s a cost-effective measure to hire someone to do that arguing?  And why should that person’s time be wasting my doctor’s, when he is actually taking care of people who need his skills to survive?

I can’t wait to write a much more positive post about how wonderful I feel and how successful the Humira is being.  Hang in there, it’ll happen.  Meantime, thank you.  You’ve helped cheer me and cheer me on.

35 Comments so far
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But hey, if we had socialized medicine, then there would be *bureaucrats* getting in the way. Oh . . . wait . . .

I’m sorry insurance sucks. *hugs*

Comment by Eleanor (undeadgoat) 01.07.09 @ 4:50 pm

Oh no! – *hug* – hang in there!

Comment by Mary Seabrook 01.07.09 @ 5:24 pm

Did you knit while you were on crack? I’d hate to think you wasted all the crazy energy?

Comment by Ruth 01.07.09 @ 5:46 pm

I will (for once) be civilized and not delve into how I feel about insurance companies. Heartless bastards. What do you pay them for? Evil, callous, heartless minions of… wait. I just delved, didn’t I? 😉

Don’t worry about emailing back. Conserve your energy, get well and talk everyone’s ear off.

Comment by Lene 01.07.09 @ 5:49 pm

I know exactly the feeling you’re talking about on steroids. I had to take some large doses with the lung fun I had a couple months ago, and was twitching I had so much energy.

Please don’t worry about emailing everyone back. Just post updates when you’re able!

Comment by Amanda 01.07.09 @ 6:29 pm

Feel better. Don’t email. Put all that energy into healing. We’ll all still be your friends when you’re up to it again. 🙂

Comment by Joanne 01.07.09 @ 6:34 pm

Prayers continuing for healing. Don’t need a reply, just know I’m thinking of you. Aren’t Moms terrific?

Comment by Renee 01.07.09 @ 6:54 pm

Oh, Alison, feel better. Prayers for you tonight, and from here on out. I’m so glad your Mom is there, and Richard is taking such good care of you. Fights with insurance companies are definitely not what you need. Knit well, or rather, get well. Which might be the same thing, sometimes.

Comment by Joyce in NH 01.07.09 @ 6:55 pm

Moms are the best caretakers. Take care, I’m sending good energy out into the universe for you.

Comment by Jasmin 01.07.09 @ 7:23 pm

Prayers coming over from Boston tonight.

Comment by Meri 01.07.09 @ 7:39 pm

Man, I hated prednisone. My exact feelings were that “there were squirrels running through my brain, and they wouldn’t stop, to the point where I was having panic attacks. Not a good time, though nowhere near as bad as what you’re having right now.

Hopefully the insurance company will take their heads out of their patooties and quit arguing – it does no good, you’ll get it eventually. They’re just plain stupid. Hopefully Humira will be as good for you as Enbrel has been for me, without the hamster component! Feel better soon – wishing you calm, peaceful thoughts.

Comment by Niki 01.07.09 @ 7:39 pm

Ah what a pleasure it is to know that you are being sassy….AND that Mom’s there….Yeah MOM!!
Yeah to all those that create an ability for a great life!!
Yeah YOU 😉

Comment by Sheila E 01.07.09 @ 7:53 pm


We’re keeping you in our thoughts and prayers! You’re so lucky to have your Mum there to help out- no one makes soup in bed like Mum’s.

Comment by Liz U. 01.07.09 @ 8:25 pm

When a spell of severe asthma required lots of prednisone, my husband described me as sounding like a VCR “stuck in fast forward.” Not fun… but neither was not being able to breathe!

Hoping you feel a lot better soon!

Comment by Barbara M. 01.07.09 @ 8:30 pm

don’t worry about writing me until you are feeling better – I will just keep piping up with prayers and healing thoughts going out for you..

Comment by rho1640 01.07.09 @ 8:39 pm

oh btw — hospitals are the WORST place to be when you are sick in my opinion…

Comment by rho1640 01.07.09 @ 8:40 pm

I have a bit of a sense of how much prednisone that is – DD was just increased to 65 mg/day, and Minky, my meezer, takes 2.5 mg every other day. Those are the extremes, eh?

I’ll be glad to hear of any and all improvements, whatever they prescribe for you. Wonderful!

Comment by Barbara-Kay 01.07.09 @ 9:34 pm

I remember one time I was really sick with a drug reaction and they gave me steroids. I caught myself taking the stairs two at a time. On a day when I should have stayed in bed. Crazy stuff, isn’t it?

I had a dream about you 2 nights ago, we were roommates on a knitting retreat, maybe on a cruise ship. An odd dream as most are but clearly I needed to check in and send a virtual hug. Love you.

Don’t write back, just spend energy on healing. Time to be absolutely selfish… not something you are accustomed to doing.


Comment by LynnH 01.07.09 @ 9:36 pm

*hugs* Glad you’re staying out of the hospital for now. And glad you’re responding to what they’ve been giving you!

<3 to you and Richard and your mom, too. So much <3 to everyone concerned. …<3! 🙂

Comment by Amy 01.07.09 @ 9:42 pm

Hope the meds give you some relief. You are so blest to have your Mom. They are the best, aren’t they!? Keep up the good fight and don’t over do it. I tend get too caught up in an activity and then my back pain catchs up with me. You have such a great family and supportive friends… and of course you are special too… Hope you get much better very soon.

Love ya’, Bev

Comment by Bev 01.07.09 @ 10:15 pm

No reply needed: Sending more prayers and hugs and love to you all. Say “hi” to your Mom and tell her to give you an extra hug from me…my arms don’t quite reach there from Maryland!

The insurance company will cave if they know what’s good for them. And let someone else fight with them on your behalf. No use wasting your energy on *that*.


Comment by Karen 01.08.09 @ 12:02 am

I love the squirrel on crack analogy!

But I have to say that I really hate your healthcare system in the US. I think it is obscene that there are companies making profits out of peoples’ illnesses, and that you should even have to consider finances when you and your doctors should just be able to concentrate on getting you well again. It was a real eye-opener for me when I lived and had a baby in the US, compared to having one in the UK.

Anyway, rant over! You are in my thoughts at the moment. Keep on getting better.

Comment by Anna 01.08.09 @ 12:35 am

Happy to hear that you’re feeling better with the meds. Having someone to cheer you up at times of despair is always a blessing! Your mom seems to be a real gem. Hugs to you!

Comment by Monica 01.08.09 @ 12:41 am

So can we start Alison’s Humira fund now? Where do I sign up?

Hugs, sending many hugs, and handholds, and prayerful silences.

Comment by karin 01.08.09 @ 6:01 am

I’m with Karin.
Insurance companies… ratbastards. Also the few doctors who play their game ‘just right’ and get away with it. argh.
Hugs and healing prayers to you, so glad your Mom is there :^) I’m also including Very Serious prayers that you don’t have to go in hospital.
(like the others, don’t reply, just rest and heal)

Comment by marianne 01.08.09 @ 6:19 am


Please put all your energy into getting well. The E mail’s you can handle once you are well. Your family and friends are your support system along the help of the meds. I continue to pray for you and know that your good health is just around the cornor. Hugs Bonnie

Comment by Bonnie 01.08.09 @ 6:54 am

Cheers for your mom and the unexpected help from the prednisone, jeers for those profiteers at the insurance company. I could go on for DAYS about them, but I won’t.

Comment by Channon 01.08.09 @ 6:54 am

I won’t get started on insurance companies; I think others have already said some of it anyway.

Hope you feel better very soon; answering not necessary. Just feel better!

Comment by Alison 01.08.09 @ 7:20 am

Just wanted to send a bright, cheery, sunny get-well wish your way! Hope you feel better very soon.
And please, let your husband deal with the insur. co. – he’s bigger…or, maybe Shaquile O’Neal…he could get some cooperation for you, I’m sure! 🙂
Having gone through health situations too, I know how you have to just keep trying things till you find the one that works so…can’t wait till you get to try the Humira and hope your days are full of knitting again very soon…till then, I’m so glad your mother could be with you…it’s nice to have the company as well as the tender care!
Please just rest and get well…no response necessary. 🙂
Best wishes and prayers…we need you back on your feet/needles again ASAP! 🙂

Comment by Abby 01.08.09 @ 7:53 am

Seconding all the folks who said don’t worry about email. Just get better. Fondle some yarn, it’s therapeutic :).

Comment by RobinH 01.08.09 @ 8:01 am

I’m glad yo’re feeling a bit better, and I hope the funding from your insurance comes through! I sure don’t miss American health insurance! Especially these days, when I am likely racking up quite an expensive bill, somewhere. There’s a lot of runaround with socialized medicine, but so far I’ve barely paid anything. I shudder to think what would happen if I still lived in CA.

Take care, and keep the faith! You have survived, and thrived in the past, and you will do so again. I have complete faith in you. Plus, you’ve got your Mom there! 😉

Comment by AmyS 01.08.09 @ 9:25 am

I can just see the squirrel on crack! ROFL.

Comment by Sherry in Idaho 01.08.09 @ 10:06 am

Dear Alison,

Just a quick note on my lunch break. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Thank goodness your mother is there to help you physically and lift your spirits. You are an inspiration to all of us who read your blog.

I work for Abbott Labs which makes Humira. They have a prescription payment assistance program if your insurance continues to balk. How insurance companies feel ethically or any way entitled to make medical decisions that supercede your doctors’ is beyond any understanding.

Rest and take care and know all of us are urging you on in such a trying time.

I’ve had lupus for 4 years now and have been knitting for about 2. Knitting has helped so much. Hopefully soon you will be strong enough to return to your knitting. You can always dream about your next projects while resting, anyway.

Another thing I do that helps is read humor books, particularly Dave Barry whose humor is just plain silly. Laughter eases a great deal.

Sending you many wishes for getting much, much better as fast as possible.

(Of course I’d enjoy hearing from you some day, but please save your strength now for getting better.

With Betst Regards,

Comment by Beth Bardens 01.08.09 @ 11:25 am

Moms Rock. So do you. Keep on keeping on, and know all of us are hugging you virtually!

Comment by Pegi 01.08.09 @ 11:43 am

Germ free hugs headed your way and if I could figure out a way to make the beaded silk I want to send you guaranteed germ free I’d be mailing that to you as well.

Hugs. Be careful with the prednisone and whom at the insurance company do I need to call and chew out for you, because I will, and I will win and you will have your meds.

Comment by Tiny Tyrant 01.08.09 @ 12:41 pm

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