My hands were a little cold after reaching into the freezer. Just enough to…

I saw it fly off my left hand and shoot under the trash compactor.

Never, ever get a trash compactor. The tray-shaped part that pushes down only pushes down, for obvious safety’s sake, when the door is closed and the machine is off–but ours collects any stray bits that spill over the top of that tray and then the sides that are supposed to thwart trash from getting on top of the pusher now make it so you can’t get them out of there: the space is too narrow and enclosed for a hand to get into or an eye to see well in there.

Imagine a trash can you cannot ever completely clean.

The problem is a blank space in the cabinetry with no way to match the oak.

I wanted my ring back.

No sign of it whatsoever.

After several minutes of trying, he came over and pulled the thing off its runners and into the center of the kitchen. I looked, I scrubbed. No ring.

I took the bag off the compactor, sat on the floor, and went through every single bit in there. No ring.

I looked all around–but I’d seen that thing shoot straight across, where on earth could it be? I pulled out the long thin lines of styrofoam that the compactor had been running back and forth on for 31 years. And they looked like it. I scrubbed them off (I don’t think they were supposed to come out but they were now, whatever was supposed to cover them was long gone), looked under where they’d been, then put them back nice and flat in there. No ring.

Never has a cherry pit nor used sauce packet been so thoroughly inspected.

Finally, I got the trash back in the bag, he got the compactor back on its track, and we tried to get it back in its place.

Past the halfway mark it won’t anymore. So far at least. We both tried. So now it juts halfway into the space where you’re coming into the kitchen and you’d better be paying attention or you’re going to walk right into it. Charming. We have not won that one yet.

I scrubbed my hands a good one again, turned to move around the compactor–

–and stepped on my ring.

Apparently he’d knocked it forward when he’d pulled that thing out and then I’d put the bag on top of it. I got my ring back. I got my ring back. I got my ring back. I considered where it had been and washed my hands again.

While the trash compactor declares that we’ve wanted it gone for so long and now it’s just trying to help us get there. Isn’t that nice of it?

Sometimes you just need to change the focus, so I drove to Andy’s today, bought two big lugs of peaches, got home, and texted a friend with whom I had a multi-year agreement but hadn’t done anything this summer because the peach supply per customer had been limited. Till this week.

Did she want a half lug of each of the two types I’d bought or should I freeze half my haul? The great Loring of my youth and Silver Logan. I was fine either way.

YES she wanted peaches from Andy’s!

(I threw in some of his early-variety Gage plums just because I could.)

Her husband is a beekeeper, and she sent me home with not one not two but three jars of his honey from different hives. Some friends you can never get ahead of, you know?

And then I had put it off long enough. I tried to look up how to contact the new surgeon online, but you can’t–you have to call (just like I’d been warned by the other surgeon.)

They had been expecting me.

Summer vacation time means it’ll be three weeks. About four miles away. There was one earlier slot: first thing in the morning four cities away where rush hour traffic would add a minimum extra 90 minutes, two hours to be sure. Honey, I don’t even get up for cheap flights that early.

So. Let’s see how much knitting I can get done before I get sliced and diced.

The book club with the author Zooming in! Wow, what an experience! And for her to get to see that the people she met in Ukraine and wrote about who meant so much to her meant so much to us, too. She wove historical background in with their stories and I highly, highly recommend “By the Second Spring.”

The other thing is I saw the surgeon today. Got a nope! out of her: too many surgeries and complications, laparoscopic is not the safe way to go here, go see the oncological surgeon and expect the hospital to keep you till you feel up to walking again.

Oh that sounds like so much fun. (Been there done that, told the nurses who were trying to get me on my feet to take my blood pressure. Something over 40, okay, let’s get that number up first.)

So we’re back to waiting to find out when I can get a pre-op appointment to find out when everything will be.

But she had good answers for the painkiller question and that is the thing I most needed to know.

And it isn’t even the first of April.

A special effects artist got an Etsy order.

A police department got a phone call .

A cop got a story to tell for life.

No that wasn’t “human remains” discovered in the a.m.p.m. convenience store–it was a teddy bear (if you can call it that) from an artist across the country who does the haunted house gig.

It was intended to be ugly, but sheesh, not call-the-cops ugly. (SJ Mercury link. Here’s the FB link, which seems to work fine if you just X where it says to sign in rather than signing in. Also, it says bus station rather than the a.m.p.m.)

“The coroner’s office gathered the evidence, and the investigation is ongoing, Rodriguez said.”

It’s. A. Doll. Put it in an oak and you can call it an eye, doll, a tree.

When you weave, the weft thread finds its pattern between the raised and lowered warp threads and then half-circles back for its next row, adding continuity and the strength and smoothness of a selvedge at the sides of the piece being created.

I signed into the big blue website to read Sean of the South’s essay of the day and to wish anybody a happy birthday that might need it before trying to escape the clutches of its algorithms…

And saw the friend suggestion with mutual friends listed.

I stared at the screen, speechless. How. On. Earth.

So I went up to this good woman today who’d moved in about a year and a half ago and asked, How do you know Jordan and Jennifer in Texas?

Stopped her right there mid-motion. Her jaw. Dropped.

JEF?! How do *you* know Jef?!

(Okay, now I really knew she knew her!)

Said in the most faux-nonchalant trying-not-to-laugh tone, I answered, I’ve been married to her brother for 45 years.

It was fun to watch her being as staggered as I’d been last night.

And then I realized I’d seen her on one of our visits to the in-laws.

Turns out my brother-in-law had helped her husband land his first post-medical-training job. She was the one who, after my father-in-law was widowed, gave my sister-in-law a break by visiting him every week with her little boy, bringing a loaf of homemade bread and getting to know this character of an old guy who loved to make you laugh.

They’d moved since then, and then again to here.

All these months we had all had not a single clue.

She asked after DadH and I said, Six years I think? Richard called him to wish him a Merry Christmas and all the sudden mid-conversation was exclaiming, Dad?? …DAD!?!!!! He called his brother, who was there and rushed him to the hospital, and then he was quietly gone.

I forgot to mention DadH’s then-98-year-old friend in their ward who’d played in a band with some of his buddies at assisted living places to help keep the old folks company. I know she knew him. How could you miss him. Next week.

I finally finished the 90-stitch hat that has been demanding to stop being possibilities hidden within a ball of yarn this past month.

I watered all the fruit trees–a day early, but so I don’t have to worry about whether I’ll have time to get to it.

I made almond muffins with a spoonful of Nutella in each and really made my sweetie happy.

I took a pound of apricots, split them, melted some butter in a stoneware pan, swirled it around to coat it, poured the rest of the two tablespoons’ worth out into some brown sugar, and then put the apricot halves in the stoneware and a dot of the mixture in the center of each. Forgot the cinnamon. Forgot the bit of almond extract that really adds to that. Because I was running in and out between that and setting the timer for three minutes to move the hose 18 times. Oh well. 350F for 40 minutes to make one of my favorite comfort foods and they are definitely good enough.

They originally told me the surgeon was booked up FAR out, so sorry. Then they called back saying they’d had a cancellation and would next Thursday be alright.

(Did I ask for a cancellation. No, no I did not.)

Thursday it is.

Today was coping mechanisms day.

Scene: CVS. I could tell you any number of ways I would have preferred to spend my morning but there it was and there I was.

There was a mom picking up her prescription. Her son, about 13 and trying not to be bored waiting for her, picked up a pair from the spinning display of sunglasses at the end of the nearby aisle and tried them on for the mirror that was probably lower to his view than it would have been just a few months ago. You know that awkward stage where the feet grow first and then the rest starts to catch up?

I was done just then so as I walked past him I told him appreciatively, Cool shades.

His face absolutely lit up. And so so did mine as I continued on towards the door.

Kids need their villages so much.

Actually, come to think of it, we still all do, every day.

I goofed: last night I reminded Richard of my appointment today.

He reminded me that I had okayed his having been asked to meet up with someone today.

We only have the one car. He couldn’t miss his. I couldn’t miss mine, I mean, I could reschedule, but…!

And so it was that the woman who knew all of my cousins back in Boston, being a peach, drove me to the clinic. She offered to come again to take me home afterwards and I assured her I was fine with my knitting till he could come across town when he was done.

Which meant we had a little more time to get to know each other one on one on the way there and I had a rah rah go team go! cheering me on at the moment I most needed it. I felt much readier for this. She’s the best.

I told the doctor about my grandmother having had–they said it was ovarian cysts–and being treated with what was then the very latest thing: massive doses of x-rays.

Her jaw was hanging and her eyes went huge.

Which turned into a laugh when I added, And then she lived to be 96.

Well all right then but we don’t do radiation like that anymore!

Well no!

I didn’t realize till after I came out just how much I had talked myself into believing we would just continue doing what we’d been doing, ultrasounds, attempts at biopsies, keeping tabs on it.

Not so much.

Not that having a period every day till I’m the one who passes at 96 was so much the problem, it’s that it had been slowly steadily increasing. That’s not sustainable.

(I told Richard afterwards, I didn’t want our two granddaughters to think I was willing to risk major pain and surgery and possibly losing my hearing just to not have to bleed anymore when they’re going to start on all of that soon. I didn’t want them to think that that itself was the bad thing I wanted to get away from. He said, I would never have thought of that! and I said, Because you’re not a woman. I wouldn’t expect you to.)

So. The only way to get a firm diagnosis and to rule out cancer once and for all is a hysterectomy, and there was no point in leaving in the possibility of ovarian cancer–out they go, too.

She gave me two surgeons’ names, assured me they were both top-notch, and said the Da Vinci robot would do the actual surgery. It would be laparoscopic and minimally invasive and given the age and stage of those parts, it would be a lot less of a recovery than if I were younger.

Oh, said I brightly, so they can do it without needing painkillers?

She said decisively, Oh. you. will. need. painkillers.

With Tylenol being the only one that doesn’t deafen me?

And that is why “But I don’t want to!” kept ear worming in on my thoughts for the rest of the day. We have to do it. I don’t want to do it. She’s right. We have to do it.

—

Edited to add, I suddenly just remembered our friend Lance’s story long ago of being in the middle of doing surgery when the 7.1 Loma Prieta quake struck, with his unconscious patient suddenly projectile-missiling as he and the nurses grabbed him and held him and themselves to the table for dear life.

Tell you what. Let’s skip that part.

One more day one more day one more day.

It was no big deal for two weeks while it was just too far away, but the post-op is finally tomorrow when I finally get to find out what comes next.

I found a UFO cowl because my brain needed the distraction and the creativity. I finished it and it felt great.

And then I splurged on a hand-embroidered blouse from Nataliya’s shop, NeedleworkUkraine, in the face of the latest Russian attacks because it was something I could do to say they matter to the rest of us. I look forward to wearing it for many years to come.

Now there’s a word for your next spelling bee.

The Atlantic did a fascinating piece a few years ago that is new to me. I think it’s stuck behind a paywall, but if you can get it to work, it’s here.

They’d discovered twins who were both fraternal and identical–and different genders.

Definitely only one placenta. Definitely looked like a boy and a girl.

Normally, they explained, if two sperm make it to one egg the result has three sets of chromosomes and is nonviable. What they figured happened was that that happened and survived long enough to split into three: the girl, the boy, and a third part that could not grow.

But.

The girl is 90/10 female.

The boy is 53/47 male.

The split wasn’t evenly boy/girl down the middle and both have parts of each other’s DNA.

Biology not only doesn’t always follow the rules, sometimes it plays Calvinball for the exuberance of joy that it can. To life!

He didn’t recognize the song last night, but then, I’m not the voice on the radio singing it from way back when to give him context and I had no idea of the words beyond the chorus. It’s just one of those catchy little tunes that pops up in the brain every decade or two and wants to get you to dance.

So I went and looked it up.

The No No Song, by Ringo Starr. (Me: It IS? Ringo?!)

Pulling out the second stained glass puzzle tonight, I found myself softly singing today’s silly little ear worm.

He didn’t recognize that one, either. So, repeat pattern from *.

Back Off, Boogaloo. By–you guessed it. Ringo Starr.

Which one of his will my brain come up with tomorrow.

He wondered why Ringo was using that word and what it meant.

Okay, Merriam Webster says this, that it’s Latin-inspired 60’s music, Collins says it’s a fast dance of Afro-American origin, of couples not touching while they dance in quick jerky moves (that is definitely our generation!)  and neither one of them says a thing about the group banned by Facebook that Ringo had no way to know would steal and twist that word.

I bet they had no idea who it celebrated. The self-mockery!

But then bullies were meant to be laughed at.

To the folk tune of, Did you ever see a lassie go this way and that?

The following is what you get when someone starts doing puzzles for the first time in her life at 66 after yonder friend Holly says you’ve got to try these.

This one, though, was from apparently a print-on-demand outfit. There is no artsy-fartsiness in the cut, none of the whimsy in, say, her recommended Nautilus puzzles that had me starting out with the best and I didn’t even know it.

Two shapes. With the only modification being the solid line at the edge pieces. It’s a pain to put together, it’s a pain to get them apart. “High-quality wood”? Yes, that’s what cardboard is made of, c’mon.

And it would be great for kids because if you don’t care if the picture you end up with looks like a wild game of 52-pick up, then, hey! If it fits it sits, right?

All that said. He finished it off yesterday (to my relief) while I watered the garden.

It’s pretty. It reminds me of my late cousin John, the only stained-glass artist I ever knew. I like it. I miss him.

And now, typing that out, I understand why I couldn’t make myself take it back apart till tonight.

The news from Texas has been heartrending. Historian Heather Cox Richardson says the National Weather Service did publish flash flood warnings, but the head of Kerr County said the warning systems that would have conveyed that locally were not in place because they had decided that cost too much.

Man.

My husband got his ham radio license after 24 hours of not being able to reach his aunt’s family very close to the epicenter of the big 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake (they were okay but their house had stories to tell) and from there he did emergency communications volunteering with the city, the county, and the Red Cross.

I said in agony over the lost campers in Texas, Don’t they have reverse-911 there!

And then went, Wait. Do they?

Which got him reminiscing. He knew all the people who started that. It began with an idea: the city had topography maps and it had 24 fax machines. What if… So they kluged up a system where if there was a risk of flooding, the homes in the lowest elevations could get a warning phone call by having a switch that disconnected all incoming faxes, because that’s not the priority in an emergency, and took over the faxes’ phone lines to call out to those homes with a pre-recorded message.

Twenty-four numbers at a time. That’s all.

But then you have the computer call 24 more, and 24 more…

That concept got tested pretty quickly thereafter: we had our 100 year flood in 1998. There were kids boogie-boarding down our street. There was the friend who saw his koi from his back yard swim past his feet in the front yard to go live happily ever after in the Bay (good luck). The elementary school principal hauled a canoe out and got himself in the paper paddling across the playground just for fun but there really wasn’t much water there. Might have drowned a few gophers, though.

There was one notable fire department rescue operation where someone thought his big pickup could easily do that puddle and tried to drive through the steep railroad underpass. Oops.

So anyway. Instantly it became: how do we make it so we can reach everybody? In time? Can we do it all at once?

Well let’s see: the Feds had passed a law requiring the phone companies to provide the phone number to every address for 911 calls so that the first responders could know where to go no matter how much information the caller was able to give them. Early cell phones weren’t covered. The Feds made them cover them, too.

That database existed. How about if you invert it?

You could draw a circle on the map and say, everything in this boundary, or you could say everybody in the city.

And thus they created the reverse-911 system that lets you know there’s an emergency.

The surrounding cities thought this was great and copied us.

The county thought this was great and copied us.

And it took off from there.

I thought by now everybody had it. I cannot for the life of me imagine why on earth any municipality wouldn’t.

I got the nicest thank you note yesterday from a waitress.

While we were traveling, we invited some relatives out to dinner, and after asking them where they’d like to go since they knew the area and we didn’t, they said, Well, are we talking Olive Garden or–?

The –? won out. We hadn’t seen his sister in awhile and as my father used to say, How many meals do you eat in your life? Now, how many do you remember?

The meal itself was very good, the waitress, perfect.

It wasn’t till after we flew home and I was working on the bills that something seemed off. Found the receipt.

The math didn’t math at all. The intention had been good but someone had been a little too tired to think straight.

We had to make it right.

At least I had her first name on that receipt, and so I sent a check to, simply, FirstName, c/o that restaurant, asking them to please give her the tip amount she should have gotten and apologizing profusely to her.

A side note here: it helped greatly in those first moments that Richard had entered the restaurant’s name and address into his Waze app to help us find the place after his sister had named it, even though she knew perfectly well how to get there–there it was in his phone’s memory. Oh wait, it was on the bill, too. Of course.

There was a card in the mail from a name I didn’t recognize and as I opened it up and read that sweet note I almost cried. What a lovely, lovely young woman. I wish her all the best in all that life brings her from here on out.

A grocery run.

A young couple with a baby girl of about 15 months, absolutely adorable. Proud grandparents. Ukrainian, was my guess, along with the dad who was clearly their son, while the mother of the baby looked to have Californian ancestors going way back.

Sometimes I see too late where my deafness trips me up: it wouldn’t occur to me to begin speaking from behind someone or where we weren’t directly facing each other and expect to be paid the least attention to because I wouldn’t hear someone speaking behind me. And so, I brushed the older woman ever so slightly on the arm to get her attention and handed her a particularly cute finger puppet. Whoever the knitter in Peru was, she put a lot of time and color into that bright bird.

“I’m a grandma too,” I smiled, offering it to her–

–while her face and body froze in abject horrified fear. Which did at least lessen to uncertainty when she saw the little toy and then followed my glance towards her beautiful granddaughter.

“Happy Birthday,” I added, still smiling, and got out of their way quickly to make it clear I wasn’t trying to demand anything whatsoever of them.

Her daughter-in-law translated.

Ohhh…!

Next time I glanced their way they were so much more relaxed than even before I’d approached them: smiling, laughing, enjoying this precious time together while the little one is so little, and oh so much better than that initial moment.

Which was such a relief.

And I got to see how much the daughter-in-law rejoiced over being able to make everything okay for her mother-in-law.

They will always have that.