It suddenly hit me this morning that what I didn’t want to call fear–but still, it was a nagging, ongoing sense of dread–all the angst around meeting a new surgeon in two weeks, about having a more major surgery than expected, not at Stanford but in a hospital where I knew no one nor my way around and there would be no old friends who were nurses suddenly popping up, about what the results might be, about the pain meds, the recovery, the being made to get up and walk after they’ve cut into you–
–last time, they got me upright and I insisted, Take my blood pressure before you try to make me do more.
It was 73 over something like 30 and they decided okay, let’s get that up to 80/40 first.
The stress that had triggered last year’s eye infection to resurface.
All of that.
It didn’t matter anymore. There was no problem anymore. There was just something to go through and then go live happily ever after and that would be that.
Finding and rescuing that beautiful little finch had in some way I cannot describe somehow rescued me, too.