The EKG machine was a total flatline.
The nurse was getting flustered with it, so the patient laughed and assured the nurse that the patient at least was not.
The doctor, a little earlier: Was it a slip first? Or a faint first?
Patient: Slip, then a fall headfirst onto the cold water valve on the shower, missing my eye, then very nearly throwing up once finally getting up with his help, then starting hard to pass out but managed to just make it to the bed to collapse.
Doctor: It doesn’t need stitches, but you do need an EKG and complete bloodwork and thyroid tests. We need to find out why you were fainting.
Thus the EKG machine. A second nurse came in. I made a joke about wearing the wrong shoes–can’t reboot with clogs. Okay. They tried rebooting the machine. Then finally they sent me to cardiology down the street–but first I was to go to CT and get a brain scan. And the lab.
Which is how my husband ended up leaving work early to spend hours with me at the clinic, because no way was I driving. He is my rock.
Thirteen previous concussions?! Knocked out five times? When was the last time you saw neurology? It has been too long, they told me.
Okay, so that’s on the list, too. But enough for today.
I figured all that was one way to get a carry-around project teal-green hat back into my list of ready-to-give-aways. But seriously, life? If you want a stinking green hat, you do know there are easier ways to say so.