Cliff notes
Tuesday September 16th 2014, 9:51 pm
Filed under: Friends,Life

I sent off a card to Cliff, Don’s son, several weeks ago. He took such good care of his dad; we should all be so well loved in our old age. I knew that Don had lived in a senior community and I wondered how that works when a not-yet-55-year-0ld inherits the place.

I also know that sometimes when you’re grieving a loss, often people tend to assume a few months later that life has gone back to normal and that they shouldn’t remind you of your missing loved one and reignite any pain.

As if you could forget. As if you didn’t remember every day.

And so, me, I try to send out an ‘I’m thinking of you’ later on as well.

Today it came back to me weeks after I’d sent it, stamped unforwardable.

He had snailmailed me letters in his dad’s final illness, giving me updates, letting me know. Very much appreciated.

And now, who else would remember that day my doorbell rang and Cliff was standing there with Don grinning like crazy from the passenger side of the car out front as his son held out new pans for me to make them chocolate tortes in? Surprise! After I had complained in this space that my old pans had leaked and smoked up my oven.

Or how they saved up produce clamshells to keep my fruit trees from the squirrels. It is halfway through September and I still have a few last Fuji apples ripening, safe.

Cliff, if you read this, I baked tortes tonight because I was thinking of you both–grinning, remembering that day, thinking how much fun Don would have had with Sunday’s post.

Thank you, and may all be well with you, wherever you are now.


4 Comments so far
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What a wonderful gesture! Mind if I copy it, when the opportunity arises?

Comment by Suzanne from Montreal 09.17.14 @ 1:02 pm

I’m so sorry your mailed message didn’t get to Cliff. There must be some way to find him, though. It’s possible that he’ll eventually read the blog, so I guess just posting a note to him from time to time, as you do here, will be a good thing. Maybe all the vibes from all of us will get through to him — maybe they already are and he knows.

Comment by Susan (sjanova) 09.17.14 @ 2:44 pm

Yes, this is exactly right. There is no way a few months erases the pain, and knowing one’s loved one is missed by others at least eases it.

Comment by twinsetellen 09.17.14 @ 5:33 pm

Oh, I hope he sees this… and I’m going to text Bubba’s widow in the morning. It’s been a while since I’ve reached out.

Comment by Channon 09.17.14 @ 6:37 pm



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