Scene 1, take three
Thursday March 12th 2009, 8:16 pm
Filed under: Life

imgp7136Two trailers before we get to the main show: first, a thank you to Judy Sumner for the gorgeous yarn that had me catching my breath and going ooh, feel this! to Mom and Richard.  It’s 13.5 oz  (!) of silk/merino from Ellen’s Halfpint Farm in Evening Shadows, a colorway I particularly like.  Judy, I will try to knit this into something worthy of such generosity.  Or several somethings, at that yardage.

And a shoutout to  boy, could they teach my health insurance company something about customer satisfaction.   My supplies came. Already!

Now, on to the blog–

I had to laugh at Momo Fali’s comment, because I once did just a quick run to Costco for a couple of gallons of milk, it being all of a mile away, and the clerk stopped and stared at me: he had to give me change for my five.  “How did you DO that?!”

You build up a certain immunity.

Another Costco moment: I once went with my younger daughter pushing me in a wheelchair.  Never again on a Saturday; you’re lower down than the tops of the carts and people just don’t see you.   Bumper carts in the funhouse.  But the priceless moment was when Michelle parked me for a moment to run go look at something just as a young dad did likewise in front of us, and I suddenly found myself looking right up at a two-year-old boy carefully strapped in.

Who had the most befoozled look on his face as he stared down at me, trying to take it in: there’s a GROWNUP.  In a STROLLER.  Being pushed by a KID!!!

Utterly nonpsychodegradeable. Poor kid. I smiled and waved hi and he had no idea how he was supposed to react, it was just beyond him.

Scene three:  Costco again.  On a day when it was raining, when I still needed a chair at the time but no way did anyone in the family want to take the time standing in the heavy downpour to get it out of the car; Richard let the kids and me out in front of the entry to go use the store’s scooter instead, hoping there would be one not being used. There was.

Well, now, this was kind of cool: it had a horn (although calling it a horn is kind of like a chihuahua calling itself a Great Dane) that sounded like the RoadRunner for when people are barreling down on you. Meep meep!

The problem came, though, when we were at the far end of the store. The scooter died.  Totally. The gauge said the battery was fully charged, but it was as stubborn as an Iditarod dog in the hot Arizona summer: ain’t goin’ nowhere, dude.  After a few moments of trying, Richard gave up and went to go ask someone.

The manager came over, checked it out, and figured out the problem: “It’s thrown the deadman switch. It doesn’t think anybody’s there. You don’t weigh enough. Try putting your purse in your lap and a 25-lb bag of rice or something next to you on the seat.”

Not that I wanted any rice… We made do. And the thing roared back to life.

22 Comments so far
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The yarn is utterly gorgeous.
Ok, you made me laugh. The scooter thought
is was smart. You showed it!

Comment by Sonya 03.12.09 @ 8:59 pm

Well! Wheelchairs and scooters — something I know a bit about! The business of people not seeing you — I’ve had people walk right into me. On the other hand, there have been those who see me, make way for me. People can be kind. The clerks at Trader Joe’s are especially so.

Funny time:


Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The  main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. 
Daniel, 9
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And  when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado.
Reagan, 10
Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth,  an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your  pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter. 
Sara, 6
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who’s a very good carpenter. 
Jared, 8
All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn’t  go for it. 
Antonio, 9
My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on  helping me while she was still down here on earth. 
Lynn , 9
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and  pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the  child get over it. 
Vicki, 8
What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. 
Sarah, 7

Comment by Don Meyer 03.12.09 @ 9:01 pm

The wheelchair/toddler story I thought of last night when I read your post–you were up as late as I was! I remembered it because it gave me such a hoot of delight the first time that I shared it with a couple of friends who really enjoy little kids the way that you do. The dead man’s switch I remember upon reading it again. Good thing you didn’t need the motor cart this time–it might have argued your nonpresence since you certainly don’t weigh what you should right now, but it’s coming. So glad you are doing better all the time. Nonpsychodegradeable; have to remember that term for what not only boggles but freezes the mind.

Love you. Marian

Comment by Marian 03.12.09 @ 10:22 pm

The yarn is breathtaking! Blue is my favorite color! So much so that I have to make myself buy other colors, so I’m not completely monochromatic 🙂

Thanks for the Costco adventures giggle:0)

Comment by TripletMom 03.12.09 @ 11:38 pm

I giggled over your adventures at Costco and the yarn is scrumptious.(((((Hugging You))))) Darcy

Comment by Darcy 03.13.09 @ 12:31 am

This is an awesome post…

Comment by Amanda 03.13.09 @ 2:55 am

Thank you for a new vocabulary word and three Costco stories. I had the same invisibility problem when I was rehabbing my broken leg a couple of years ago. Plump middle-aged woman walking with cane = invisible, particularly to males of the same generation, except when it came time to go through a door, and then their Southern manners came out. Quite the psychological experiment.

Comment by Lynn 03.13.09 @ 4:22 am

Walking through Costco is a big accomplishment. Looking at all that food without feeling sick is an even bigger accomplishment for you. Just so that you can feel smug about living in Ca, it is 37 degrees here in McLean, and it’s snowing! (For those not in the know, I’m just across the river from where Alison grew up.)

Comment by LauraN 03.13.09 @ 5:01 am

Beautiful yarn! Tennesseans are great folks. 😉

Love the Costco stories, everyone. Youngest had a scooter die on her at Walmart once. She used crutches till her foot healed after that.

Comment by Toni Smoky-Mountains 03.13.09 @ 5:12 am

I can’t wait to read #3 to the Knight. During my worst days with my back, at the start of our marriage, I had no choice but to ride around such stores. However, some of those scooters are maintained better than others, which means driving can be tricky…

BEAUTIFUL yarn. Can’t wait to see what it grows up to become!

Comment by Channon 03.13.09 @ 5:55 am

That’s some really beautiful yarn, and whatever you create will be worthy of it.

And I cannot, for the life of me, get out of COstco under $300. Even when I go with a list. I can’t do it. SO now, my husband comes along to try and figure out what’s going on. We’re still $300 every trip…

Comment by Sandra 03.13.09 @ 5:55 am

Ha! Now I know you are also a lexicographer! nonpsychodegradable! I love it! And it’s wonderful to hear your sense of humor again, Alison! Prayers continuing…d

Comment by Debra 03.13.09 @ 7:53 am

OK, that last story is hilarious! It makes one wonder what they’re thinking when they build those things? Love that yarn, btw…

Comment by Jocelyn 03.13.09 @ 7:54 am

You can always use that bag of rice for a booster in the seat, you know…snicker….

Comment by Ruth 03.13.09 @ 9:05 am

I haven’t read your blog in a while. It was fun catching up and seeing what you’ve been up to. Loved the yarn!


Comment by Robin 03.13.09 @ 12:35 pm

Glad you weren’t stuck in the back of the store.

You’ll have a great time knitting with the yarn. It’s beautiful

Comment by Joansie 03.13.09 @ 2:43 pm

What is the critical weight for a scooter to run ? That is so funny. And why did it run for a bit before it decided you didn’t exist? Is that an existentialist problem? Do we need to enlist Albert Camus fans to decide if you exist or not? Hmmmmmm……

Comment by Carol 03.13.09 @ 7:29 pm

I imagine they set it high to discourage little kids from playing go-kart with it in the store, but why it stopped… ?

Comment by AlisonH 03.13.09 @ 7:52 pm

Hah, you didn’t weigh enough. Girl, there are some models in NYC wanting that problem.

And Ellen’s 1/2 Pint — oh yes, I went by there at Stitches, but I have so much yarn right now that I resisted, but seeing that beautiful colorway makes me a bit envious.

Comment by Renee 03.13.09 @ 11:25 pm

Yarn: absolutely gorgeous! I’m salivating in anticipation of your new creation!

Stories: Hilarious! I can just see the little guy’s face!

Don’s response: Also hilarious!

Thanks for my best laughs of the day so far!

Prayers and hugs!

Comment by Pegi 03.14.09 @ 9:18 am

You can definitely sit next to me in my car and not have any problems. When I put a couple of bags of stuff there, the seat belt thinks it needs to buckle up the bags — the indicator light comes on for that at the slightest provocation!

Comment by karin 03.14.09 @ 3:34 pm

Well, now, I know you’ve been through torment with your health, and I don’t mean to belittle that at all, but I simply cannot imagine ever in my life being told I don’t weigh enough!

Comment by Renna 03.14.09 @ 9:47 pm

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