How to bake a pie from scratch, definitely scratch
Wednesday November 26th 2008, 9:55 pm
Filed under: Family,Life

Open that door for me, wouldja?  Thanks.  Wait–no?  You’ll walk into it and burn yourself?  You are SO my child!

(Waits ten minutes.  Checks email.  Child/perpetrator wanders off. Back in kitchen, alone now.  Opens oven door.  Waits.)

Dustpan and brush?  Check.

No. Wait. Synthetic. Might melt. Hmm.

(Re-establishes dominance over oatmeal pie crust: you WILL adhere to those sides this time thankyouverymuch.  No playing trampoline this time.)

Opens oven.  Broom proves a little awkward–let’s not sweep old hairballs all the way across the kitchen onto the newly-reestablished pie crust, okay?time for self-cleaning feature to be turned on–moves upper rack to the top and recommences sweeping oven. Thinks might not ever again get a chance to actually sweep an oven.  Thinks how cornstraw makes a nice fire starter and about being at the other end of all those starters–but at least they won’t melt.  Uh, yeah, fire extinguisher still good.  Sweeps oven some more as the piecrust bits run and hide under the heating element.  Sees more bits go down inside the hinge socket of the door: entombed forevermore, to be excavated by some future Egyptmeofpietologist.  Pokes at run-and-catch-me’s with a wooden fork.

Child enters.  Oven devoid of major pieces, down to the last sandyish bits.  Exclaims, I didn’t mean for you to have to do that!  Tells child to look at pie crust.  Oh Mom, you did it!

Blows across fingertips.  Heh.  Puts rack back in place. Turns oven back on.  Tells child she can prebake her pie crust shortly.  Doesn’t mention not actually liking banana cream pie child is looking forward to, much less banana soycream pie. There’s another crust, safely baked, spread with melted chocolate, waiting for strawberries and strawberry puree filling; that will definitely do the job nicely.

banana soycream or strawberry chocolate?(With a bajillion thanks to the fellow at Whole Foods on Emerson Street in Palo Alto, who, after four stores earlier in the day, got the phone call asking if please please did they have Earth Balance Sticks for the severely dairy-allergic kid who wanted to make a pie she could actually eat on Thanksgiving Day with the relatives. Who said, We discontinued that; no, wait, let me check. We stocked it for the holidays! We have it! Come! And whom I thanked in person as we loaded our basket with four boxes, to his very obvious delight at being thanked in the craziness that was a grocery store the day before Thanksgiving.)

10 Comments so far
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Myself and 3 of my children are lactose intolerant so I totally understand:)Love the broom I put tinfoil on the bottom of my oven for just such a thing for surely mine would do the same;)Happy Thanksgiving.Hugs Darcy

Comment by Darcy 11.27.08 @ 1:58 am

Glad you found the Earth Balance sticks, I’ve been using them for years in my baking… they discontinued ‘making’ or just ‘carrying’ them in the store? ack.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Comment by marianne 11.27.08 @ 4:18 am

Very funny – at our house it’s the butter dripping on the oven element, leaking from the cheesecake crusts. I’ve gotten better over the years, but there’s nothing quite like the smell and smoke of burning butter. And yum – pumpkin cheesecake today!!

Comment by niki 11.27.08 @ 9:13 am

Yay! I’m glad it all worked out. Happy Thanksgiving!

Comment by Channon 11.27.08 @ 9:40 am

Yey,for you. Happy thanksgiving! We don’t celebrate it but I can celbrate in spirit. Enjoy the pie. Oh how I understand, the mother of any kid with any allergy skips with joy when their child CAN eat something and enjoy it and not get sick. did you heart give an extra little beat of happiness? Enjoy your pie and your day together as a family.

Comment by Vicki 11.27.08 @ 1:31 pm

Judy made the traditional chocolate tofu pie for thanksgiving. What? You mean it’s not traditional for everyone? Now, that’s just weird! I mean, how else are you going to have chocolate cream pie if you are lactose intolerant? What’s that you say, not everyone is lactose intolerant? I am not politically incorrect! (Stomps off to eat more chocolate TOFU pie.)

Comment by Afton 11.27.08 @ 1:38 pm

You swept the oven???! too funny! Glad you could find the special ingredients. My hubby and I bring food to the MIL to be sure there is something edible. Not cause we’re allergic. Jsut cause we like to eat something……(she is a nice lady. Just can’t cook)

Comment by Carol 11.27.08 @ 5:58 pm

Love earth balance! DD nor I can do the dairy…so it’s earth balance to the rescue!

Oh and I tried to disinfect one of those brushes that comes with a dustpan one time, years ago. Boiling water and plastic bristles do not get along well. I had clumps of them melted together! Duh.

Comment by karin 11.28.08 @ 8:35 am

Is that the same broom that caught the spider ; )

Comment by LynnM 11.28.08 @ 10:33 am

Checking the archives, I see it isn’t. My how you like to sweep, though!

Comment by LynnM 11.28.08 @ 10:35 am

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