Pearls Harbored in the damage–always
Saturday August 09th 2008, 3:44 pm
Filed under: Life

remission and relapseI have often thought that my experiences at Stanford were a time that changed everything for me; I’d never want to go through them again, but for the sake of some others as well as myself, I’m glad I did.

Out of the blue, and it’s always in the middle of the night,  the inflammation process decided to switch on.  I was telling it firmly around 3:00 this morning that my writing about Noel and his co-worker was NOT an invitation to come back and NOT to think so highly of itself.

There is a level of pain where all you can do is determinedly live through it.  I did.  Pain as an intellectual exercise in curiosity about what it means to be alive.  And, go figure, I’m doing okay now–nothing to see, nothing to see, move along, move along, and I wonder if I should I even be mentioning this.  I’ve been sitting on this draft.  And then I just got a note from someone worried over a relative with lupus: yes, I told them–life does go on and it does get better and it is worth the wait to get there.

sugar cane

I don’t like these wake-up calls, but they always make me focus on what’s most best to do next with my time. And I honestly hadn’t thought of this when I set up the first picture, but I just had myself a fine glass of fresh-squeezed cliche.   Pure evaporated cane juice added as necessary.

11 Comments so far
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I recognize the description of living through pain — I always thought of it as watching the pain as it does its thing. I’m sorry you had a rough night, but I love the sense of humor in the pictures 🙂

Comment by Jocelyn 08.09.08 @ 4:38 pm

Well here’s hoping that life gives you as much sugar as you need to balance the bitterness of the lemons it has been handing you.

Comment by Marlene 08.09.08 @ 5:03 pm

Oh, it definitely does!

Comment by AlisonH 08.09.08 @ 5:05 pm

I like watching whatever tv shows darling grand-daughter watches. One night I was watching a medical show. There were a couple of people, as I recall, for whom the world faded to gray and then to black. They fainted.

Just like me! It was absolutely amazing to see that people knew what fainting was, what it looked like to the person who fainted. I’ve thought about why that would be such a revelation. It’s one of those things not talked about, I concluded.

So I was glad to see a description of pain here. What does it mean to be alive? To drink lemonade, that’s not too bitter. I think I’ll have a bit myself. Thanks, Alison!

Sorry you had all that pain. Thanks for using it to benefit the rest of us who didn’t have such pain last night. Best use of your time… I wonder what that will mean for your knitting…

Comment by RobinM 08.09.08 @ 5:24 pm

May we share the lemonade? Feel better soon.

Comment by Michelle 08.09.08 @ 6:38 pm

I’m so glad you talked your body out of a full blown drama. I’m sure you had better things to do today.

Comment by Laura 08.09.08 @ 10:18 pm

Sorry to hear about your night. I can’t even imagine what it must be like.

Comment by PrincessPea 08.10.08 @ 12:18 pm

Alison, I’m so sorry you did not feel well during the night. Yes, you should mention it and receive love and support from friends. I know you said you are feeling better now but I hope tomorrow is even better after a restful and peaceful night’s sleep.

Comment by Joansie 08.10.08 @ 4:31 pm

Strange how life ebbs and flows. You and Mugsy are in valleys, and my own back seems to be heading for a healing peak…

Be well my friend!

Comment by Channon 08.11.08 @ 5:38 am

You have such a strong and happy spirit in spite of the challenges of the body. I love reading about the happiness and need to read about the challenges.

Comment by Sonya 08.11.08 @ 6:42 am

I unfortunately can relate. My fibromyalgia has flaired up in the past year with my 2 back surgeries. Staying in bed is BAD for this condition. Have been contemplating the philosophy of pain management…. Makes me mad to have it limit my life, but, as with you, I have to deal…. I love your inspiring wisdom and attitude…

Comment by Bev 08.12.08 @ 5:37 pm

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