Listening to the mom
Wednesday November 21st 2007, 11:36 am
Filed under: Life

I have had times, as a mother, when I learned the importance of following my inner instincts for my children. Telling the pediatrician she needed to check my daughter’s eyes, regardless of any past testing. Telling her, another time, that that other “cyst” had to go. She dismissed me and it, but eventually, as I continued to push her, referred us to a plastic surgeon, who was sure I was regarding it out of vanity and warned me that the scar on that child’s neck would be more visible than the cyst left alone.

No. Out. Now.

Okay, then. And he went to the operating room expecting to deftly nick that little lump out of there–and found it to be the tip of a long iceberg of growing fetal cells growing around the child’s neck and starting on its way down the back, not cancerous yet but on the verge of becoming so. He thanked me profusely for following my instincts and not letting their dismissals of it get in my way.


I do think she’ll be okay this time. I thank each one of you very much for caring, and I want to return the favor by saying see, it all turned out fine, just like I said. Obviously, I can’t quite say that yet, but give me a month or two and then hopefully I will.

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Oh, yes. I believe in mother’s instinct. Mine got me to change health-care providers at 32 weeks pregnancy (to someone who took me seriously) and got me to the hospital after one “wrong” contraction at 34 weeks. I credit my instinct-driven decisions both times to saving that baby’s life. He was born 6 weeks early but perfectly fine. I think, as a woman, I’ve had trouble following my instincts as they pertain to me, but once I became a mother, I trusted my instincts whole-heartedly as they pertained to my children. They’ve not failed me yet.

Comment by amy 11.21.07 @ 12:03 pm

Yes! And that’s exactly why I wrote that post, in hopes of encouraging every mom who is where I was, with a young family, to trust and follow her instincts. It’s your child. So often, you will know before anyone else will.

I once had a doctor tell me, You go upstairs and you put your baby on their counter and you tell them you’re not leaving till they see your child. Nowadays I know when to go do that without needing that extra encouragement. But it was a learning process to get to that point.

Comment by AlisonH 11.21.07 @ 2:16 pm

Thanks for trusting your instincts and sharing that with people. So many people don’t trust their instincts and they regret it. Like I knew my daughter was ill when that pediatrician told me she was faking her symptoms at age 2! Thanks for writing the post and encouraging all parents to trust those instincts.

Comment by Vicki 11.21.07 @ 2:25 pm

I believe in a mother’s instinct too.
My mother did the same thing for me when I was 14. I was complaining of a stitch in my side. After the first rank of tests, the doc basically told her it was in my head, or I was making it up. She insisted a few months later when I was still complaining and they used a new procedure (one of the first internal scans) to determine I did indeed have a large mass on my spleen. It was removed, and I am alive today because of it.

Comment by Diana Troldahl 11.21.07 @ 6:05 pm

I’ll be thinking about her. Good luck.

Comment by Alison 11.22.07 @ 6:40 am

that still small voice is something that is really important. i am so glad you listen to yours. it also sounds like you had a wonderful thanksgiving. i am glad.

Comment by marti 11.23.07 @ 5:02 pm

I will keep your family in my prayers. She is in good hands.
You have validated every mother who second guessed herself. Thank you for being the mother you are. Your children are truly blessed.

Comment by Sonya 11.24.07 @ 8:17 pm

I never doubt a mother’s instinct. And if you feel she’ll be fine, then I have faith.

Comment by Kate 11.25.07 @ 10:54 am

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